When one falls in love, the belief often centers around the idea of eternal commitment. Yet, the harsh reality is that expectations can crumble, leading to separations that occur more frequently than anticipated.
In the case of a husband seeking to end his marriage, he thought a letter would soften the blow, explaining his decision. Little did he anticipate that his strategy would backfire when his clever wife responded, turning the situation into a brilliant and humorous exchange.
My Dearest Wife,
This letter serves as my declaration that I am bidding adieu to our marriage. Seven years of my life have been devoted to being a good husband, and alas, I have nothing to show for it.
The past fortnight has been particularly trying for me. Your boss conveyed the news of your resignation, and that became the breaking point for me.
Last week, I made efforts – a new haircut, your favorite meal, and even donning a fresh pair of silk boxers. Alas, you devoured the meal in two minutes, indulged in your soaps, and retired to sleep, oblivious to my attempts. The affectionate words, the intimacy between us, seem to have vanished.
Whether infidelity or a loss of love, it matters not; our journey concludes, and I depart.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Spare yourself the futile search. Your SISTER and I are relocating to West Virginia! Wishing you a splendid life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Receiving your letter was the highlight of my day. Indeed, seven years have passed since our union, though the description of you as a good man remains quite a stretch.
TV serves as my sanctuary from your incessant complaints, and even then, it’s not foolproof. Your haircut last week did catch my eye, prompting thoughts of an uncanny resemblance to a girl. Adhering to my mother’s teachings, I refrained from commenting.
As for the favorite meal and silk boxers, you must have confused me with MY SISTER, as my pork-free diet has spanned seven years. Regarding the boxers, the $49.99 price tag caught my eye, and I prayed that it was a mere coincidence after lending my sister $50 that very morning.
Despite it all, I held onto love and believed we could weather the storm. Upon winning $10 million in the lottery, I quit my job and envisioned a life in Jamaica for us. To my dismay, you had vanished upon my return.
Everything unfolds with a purpose, they say. I wish you the fulfilling life you seek. Legal advice assures me that your letter guarantees you won’t receive a penny from me. Farewell.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. In case I neglected to mention, my sister Carla was born Carl. I trust that’s not problematic!
Feel free to share this tale if it brought a smile to your face!
